I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
