I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
