I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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