didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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