Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
