does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
