How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
