seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
