David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
