Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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