I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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