I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize