Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
