I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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