Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
