I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
well you can't waste a boner
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
