I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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