butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
