i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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