you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
