The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She bit a glass in half.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
