so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
