My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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