i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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