How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
