ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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