This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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