She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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