Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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