I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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