with your own penis?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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