im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
