Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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