i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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