She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
