you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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