I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
