Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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