so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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