Do you still have your period?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
