let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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