I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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