This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
