I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
