let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
