after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
