haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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