Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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