Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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