Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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