Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think people are normalizing furries
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
