Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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