Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize