break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
