just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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