Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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