Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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