There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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