It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
