So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my shit smells like andre
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
