areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize